Holidays, you say ._.

When I got up at 8.45am (by someone furiously banging on my door), I stared at the ceiling and the rest of my room but nothing spectacular happened. So, I went back to bed and THAT is when something spectacular happens! Someone comes banging at my door, turning the locked door knob so so forcefully as if its gonna slowly open with every turn ._. Good morning, world.

The new generation..

Everyone shows their love in different ways. And I think if there is one thing weird is parents nowadays.
Or maybe its because I'm not a mother so I don't really know what does on in their minds.
But really, sending your child/ children to schools/ kindergarten at the age of 2? And A LOT of parents like these are always so proud about it, but you know what goes on in my mind? I really pity your child. Its like a little pet you have now, not even a human being. Where is their childhood?
and you know, for some children, they learn differently and different paces and all. So its sometimes, VERY much useless when they've got no interest and they're only attending classes cause they are forced to and I don't blame them. They should be running around in parks and having a fun time at that age.
And I realized that children this generation, does not know how to use a manual dictionary. (you know, those really think books)

Are children under these conditions allowed to reach their full potential? (Tho I'd think there are those exceptions for children who can cope and understand and try to make the best out of their shithole they are stuck in)

I'd say another thing I dislike about the world nowadays is the safety. With in turn, raise parents' guards. Hence, children nowadays are lacking the knowledge of the outside world and all they know is, iPad, iPhone, Angry Birds, Temple Run and stuffs. Isn't technology suppose to enhance the growth of children, not take their childhood away?

This is the modern world that we live in and I'm pretty sure the generations that are yet to come will get it worse. Not to mention, mother earth. Doubt it'll be around in the future anymore.

Asians ._.

Do you ever wonder what do parents talk about when they meet other parents, or when they meet relatives?
Its funny when you ACTUALLY hear the things they say. Especially being so Asian. I like Asians. I find them cute (which includes myself) but sometimes, I dislike the Asian tradition, standards and customs that follows and by default, I'm supposed to conform to them.
I really respect everyone for being the individuals that they are. With many personalities, some may find them rude, hilarious, welcoming and all. There's just this thing about Asians where we're

1- by default, trained and conditioned to be a collectivist and family oriented.
2- tradition and cultures say that we're suppose to respect the elderly. In the Chinese customs, it means to shut up and listen to all the shit the elders talk about even though they're talking shitcock.

so, for the first one, we're all suppose to be very closely bonded to our family. Even though there's so much politics going on, sometimes I think people stick together just for the sake of the word 'family'. Yes, those who withdraw themselves from the family activities are like reprimanded till you come out from that shell. From experience, I've got this cousin who actually scolded me when I was young and I remember her words till today. Tho, I forgive her (who in my opinion was jealous and yes, I'm the forgive and not forget kind of person)  , I barely talk to her but as time passed, everything told me to let it go and so I did. But I guess she did not. Till today, she'd rather go to my maid and my grandaunt for help or to borrow clothes from. (even when I'm ONLY a year older than her) but I still get scolded for NOT making conversation with her. Thankgod, I've got witness that its not me being the withdrawn one. But I still get the blame. Just because I'm older. (fuck favoritism and hierarchies)
And also, being brought up in a family oriented environment, we basically have to reserve our lives for our family. Trust me, I've been having an OVERDOSE of meeting family members. They speak CHINESE and other dialects that I don't understand. Learn, they say. Find a teacher for me pls. Talkcocksomuch ._. and it feels like we can't be excused for those occassions when we're not in the mood to go out, sit through a whole meal not saying anything and smiling like you're having the time of your life, (using the phone with family is also a NONO but I break that rule a lot and I do get told off). and well this is very much linked to the second point. Where we are suppose to listen to a lot of what the elders say. But have you ever been to a drunk party, where they're all drunk and people wanna beat up each other, another starts crying on her knees and the rest just wanna know whats going on and all these people are your elders? Yeah, even the younger ones don't get a say in pointing out how fucked up and screwed up their lives up. Apparently during that moment they were so called making peace with each other and I said something to add in and I got hit and shushed for it. INCOHERENCE AT ITS BEST!  So yes, I listened to how stupid they sounded and got tired of it cause 5 minutes later, they were repeating themselves. I went to get a drink and got myself on the phone to at least have a conversation worth listening and responding to. And guess what? I got questioned for being on the phone and asked not to be such an ANTI SOCIAL.
REALLY, HAVE YOU SEEN AN ANTI SOCIAL? THOSE PEOPLE THERE WERE SPEAKING DRUNK. IT WAS ALL THE ALCOHOL SOCIALIZING WITH ONE ANOTHER ._.
Whatever, suit yourself with what you want, give me my phone and a whole load of credit and I won't even bother you all anymore. Just lemme alone!

Asians will be Asians! Can I not be Asian, please?!
Done with another rant. Goodnight.

>The funny thing about people is that they realize that they're being taken for granted when its them at the losing end but I don't think anyone would stop to think about what they do when it comes to other people. I'll go on a hunger strike if it helps to make a statement ._.

>You think everything I'm doing now is normal, being nice and sweet as well but when the times comes that I'm not that nice anymore, you'll feel it. So, aren't you taking my sweetness for granted as well? Or is that expected of us just cause we're Asian? Being Asian is not only a label, but its a whole fucking load of tradition, culture, ancestry and standards being put imposed on you the day you were born.

>Something else about people that are REALLY scary. Its the fact that a lot of people in existence, exaggerates, and OVER exaggerates. Really, is there a need for that? Most of you don't even know the meaning of half the words in your vocabulary. You call people 'sick in the mind' but have you really seen someone like that? Do you want to degrade people to that? If one day, people all around you do become sick in the mind, I don't blame them because you asked for it.

>Children these days are so privileged with freedom. Maybe I'm one of them. Most probably not. Freedom. I think its funny that my parents call coming back at 5pm late. I wonder that what ifs they have other children that come back in the wee hours of the morning, what would they do? Even if I come back later than 5 pm, I was JUST watching a movie. I don't go out to do drugs, drink, smoke and all. So I don't really get what is all this fuss about.

>And another thing about parents that puzzle me. They say 'let us know if you're coming back late, at least we know you're safe'. Well, fuck that, no? Cause they think that when we come back late, we're breaking promises and shits ._. they're like people with really bad Alzheimer's and a whole lot of ego and selfishness in them. CAUSE THEY'RE ALWAYS RIGHT.

Done with another rant after so long. I find writing in my diary less relieving for the time being. Well, at least I hope some Asians can relate to this.

TATA :)

What if, we aren't who we think we are?

What if all the decisions we make nowadays are just based on how we currently feel, with no reason, no judgement?

What if.. ?

Venting out a little frustration.

I'm actually really happy that I'm done with my finals.
But I can't really deny the fact that there's so much more on my mind.
As usual, mothers are being a pain in the ass.
And she thinks I'm the pain cause I don't like sitting at home.
Seriously, the first thing in life is to embrace individualism. HAHA.
seriously. Not that I don't care about my family or anything, but I still need a life of my own.
I firstly, need to state that I do not go out ALL the time. there ARE times when I do get sick of going out. Don't compare me to my brother cause we are DIFFERENT. He gets to go out for outstation trips and I don't get it. He goes for late night stuffs and I don't. Now, the only thing I do that he doesn't is: Go out frequently. so.. I still don't get why I'm being compared to him -.- Not that he never had the privilege. We're just different in exercising our freedom. I think my parents are sexist to a certain extent.

And.. I'm not going out today just cause I wanna. I mean. I know its my dad's birthday. I don't mean to miss it but my bestfriend is literally leaving Malaysia tonight for the next 4 years or at least that's the estimated duration of her stay. I mean, it'll change, right? considering that she hasn't bought her return ticket! -.- and its just ONCE. I'm already spending EVERY New Year's with my family. I don't miss family outings. I don't miss family gatherings. So.. I still don't get the big deal.

Finals are over with today but somehow.. I think its just not my HD subject =(

And yes, I will commit an adequate amount of time to my new dog.. Yes. the 4th dog in my house has arrived. LOL.

Memories.

They've been haunting me since.. forever.

I'm still up.

After many attempts of trying to sleep.

Yes, I'm here again.

To pour out all my stupid thoughts.

I wonder now, was that how he felt when he had to do it to me?

I thought that people love you and hate you for the way you are.

They don't change you.

They make you want to change by yourself for the better.

At least those who love you would.

I'm happy.

Very.

And I'm taking advantage of it.

I'm guilty now.

For these thoughts.

For the words I said.

For the way I acted.

Sillyness.

The little things in life always seem to get people on their nerves.

The other little things in life seems to make people feel so happy and over the moon.

=)

A little, goes a long way.

I'm glad my PMS week is over.

It was getting on everyone's nerves.

Why can't men be the one with PMS? -.-

Its a silly question but why...? o.o

Anyways, I'm cherishing the awesomeness of being a girl.

Being treated like one.

And being appreciated for it.

=D

I guess I'm off to study now.

Been playing Tetris Battle since forever.

Its so addictive

but I've got 3 more papers for mid terms =(

MOO HOO! =(

I'll let it go.
I'll let it all go.
For the next 4 days.
I just don't wanna be disturbed.
I just wanna be... doing what needs to be done.

Stupid Fucktard

Why does it feel like I've gotta beg for things that I want?
I never used to have to.
Why is it that things go all wrong once everything starts feeling all right?
Everything is getting more fucked up by the day and I just need a fucking break.
My tear ducts are tired. they don't deserve to be over worked.
Everyone does almost everything for a reason.
But I do it for you. and thats it. Thats my only reason.
Thats the only reason that makes me do things. FOR YOU.
Sacrifices. It all used to not matter. I never calculated.
Now, why does everything seem to have to be on a scoreboard?
Feels stupid for doing that.
Feels stupid for having feelings.
Feels ever more like an ass that things get so screwed up.
Feels like a fucktard once things affect my studies.
I'll let you be the judge of who's that stupid fucktard.

I miss you =)

Is it any wonder that I miss you now?

Is it any wonder that old memories remind me of how much I miss spending time with you?

Even though its just by texting, a short meet up or a talk over coffee?

There's more than 7 billion people on this earth and I'll never find anyone like you. Ever.

I don't believe that we can drift apart. If we could spare 10 minutes on the phone, an exchange of a text for a brief update, a few clicks and typing of the keyboard on twitter or facebook, nothing can drift us apart.

I don't want you to leave before I regret not doing any of these. I wanna make you feel like you're worthy of everything.

I wanna capture every picture of every laugh and anything I can keep to remind me of you.

I wish time would stop when I'm with you cause every time I'm with you, time passes like the wind.

I miss you. Do you miss me too?

To you. Yes, YOU.

#stupidity -.-

Confessions of a trafficker

Seriously click on that link and READ!

WTFug. People actually sell their body for RM80?!

GIRLS can actually do that?! I mean. seriously.

Even if you wanna sell yourself, can't you make yourself more like a geisha?!

People actually bid for their virginity back then! -.-

People are starting to lose themselves more often than not. I don't get why people think so little of themselves.

Start appreciating yourself and get someone who appreciates you for who you are.

Not one who tells you, you're anything but perfect.

Traffickers are just stupid. I agree that the world is overpopulated. (especially with the lack of Y chromosome) but that doesn't allow you to sell people! Talk about inhumanity.

Then again. people are rather stupid nowadays. You wanna earn money but you don't wanna sacrifice your time. Money doesn't come falling from the sky just like that. If you think you can't support so many children, then don't be so active. What's the point in having so many children, and is only able to provide them the most basic form of necessities, and struggling everyday to make ends meet? Its already enough that the world is overpopulated. I don't think the world needs your contribution to make the it smaller than it already is.

I wonder. Has anyone ever thought about adopting?

#upset.

I really don't get why local telco companies wanna impose tax on prepaid lines!

I'm not much of a person who comments on news a lot. but this is just stupid.

Its not like they aren't earning enough from teens who text the whole day long.

Yes, I've got a whole lot of experience in that.

And I'd say I choose prepaid cause it was WAY cheaper and it was easier to budget your expenses on the phone.

Yeah. The last time the telco companies want people to have a post paid number with a certain number of years of obligatory, they introduced iPhones, Blackberries and Androids.

Are they just trying to get people to change to postpaid? Talk about capitalism! -.-

Stupid telco companies. Making me upset.

Sometimes, it'd be nice to go back to the nomad times. SOMETIMES.

ANNOYANCE !

I really hate it when I've gotta think twice about everything I say.

I hate it when my personal space becomes somewhere I've gotta think about others.

I hate it that facebook is being so retardedly filled with family members.

I can't do what I want.

I say what I want.

And its not like they care.

Everyone just browses through other people's pages to pick up gossip and spread more rumours around.

That's my first complaint at 9.30 in the morning.

I hate how people are so inconsiderate. Just because you're up doesn't mean everyone else is up.

And it doesn't mean that when you sleep like a log, everyone does ! -.- people can be so retarded.

Not that I hate people. But my brother started banging the door at 9 am that woke me up then I heard sounds of someone using the lidi broom to sweep the dried leaves. Seriously, people? Now my brother is listening to 'Defying Gravity' by Glee. Yes its nice. But Its not nice after 3 days of listening to the same song!! -.-

Well, I forgot my point of this post cause I got so annoyed -.-

When you have someone,

You'd always ask them to go.

Just to see if they will,

Sometimes, you ask them to go,

knowing they'll say no.

But when they really leave,

You'll wish you didn't say any of those things.

You keep little sentimental things just to remind you

That what you had was real,

It was true.

And now the reality of their non existence as well.

Which truthfully, is a suffer.

The Fishy Theory of You.

You throw your words,

like a fisherman throws his bait into an ocean,

waiting for A fish. just any fish. to come take the bait.

and there you have it. YOUR fish.

Well, this fish here is just gonna swim away.

Bye bye.

Only..

; between 2 lines of enemies, while watching your more favourable side face the unfriendliness of war.

;between not wanting to lead you on but protecting you.

;exposing lies and keeping friends.

ZOMG. LIFE.

Something for you =)

Just some things in my head I needed to clear.

College is a bitch with all the workload (okay, its not that much if you actually don't procrastinate. But really. WHO DOESNT?) but some thing about college and my high school life that I've gained that no one can take away; Friends.

This year;

I had my best birthday ever.

I found people who I can call bestfs and I know I can count on them.

I know that they love me back too =)

I found friends who accepts me as OCBC/banana/blondie/nerd or whatever they think of me...

Do you know that,

; I cry, cause I'm so afraid of losing my bestfriends?

; I tell my bestfriends that I love them a lot. (well, sometimes, not)

; I rarely text them but when I do, its like some tsunami wave of rubbish information/complaints/rants?

; I complaint most to my bestfriends?

; I talk about rubbish to my bestfriends?

; I call them when I feel stressed or sad just to talk it all out and I know that they will say the right things to make me feel better?

; I usually hit them on the face? (kinda slap. haha! is that normal?)

; I occasionally give my bestfs kisses? (to the guys and girls)

; I think its normal to hug them for ages and bug them like no body's business?

; I wish I was a better friend.

; I secretly thank them for always listening to my stupid rants.

; I wish we hung out more often.

; I can be damn stonned sometimes cause I told you too too many things.

; I sound so stupid around youu... HAHA.

ZOMG. SO MANY MORE THINGS.

BOTTOM LINE; I LOVE YOU =)

but you know who you are =)

Limitations of Words

Sometimes, I think I'm too smart. I'm over confident and I'm stupidly always wanting in. I'm not enough to comprehend you, who you are and whatever you've been through. I was never enough to be made anything special. I wish the tables would turn, that somehow I'd have this brain smart enough to have more sane, matured thoughts. I never knew how I could be so naive. I've always been so self centred. Only thought about all my problems and always think that no one else's down could be lower than mine. I was right at some point. but right now, after reading it all, all my problems, summed up would not be even 5% of what you've been through. I feel so small right now.

You know, there're reasons why people never tell you things. If they don't, then don't find out. There're definitely higher chances of you finding out things that hurt yourself rather getting to know more pleasant things. I'm that stupid person who always finds things out. I've learnt that lesson but my curiosity just overpowers me. It gives me so much enthusiasm to know things. Well, not really things that would help me in my academics, really. Just.. things about you.

I'm outta words already =/ although there're like 10 other things in my mind =/ kay. I shall just go off for now =) Tata :)

Dear bestf's =)

Dear Bestfs,

Firstly, I'd like to say that I love you =)

You are the only people who I can say, 'I love you' and genuinely mean it.

You're the only people who I can depend on.

You know, when they say, 'if you're happy, I'm happy'? Well, yes. You can make me feel that way.

You can make me cry, wonder and worry like no other.

Even in the midst of all these hectic-ness and whatever I'm going through, you all can make me feel like there's not a worry in the world that would ever pull me down. except my worry for you.

You're a jigsaw puzzle that complete's part and parcel of my life, make it whole and complete.

You care for me like no other, and I love that sometimes, while being such a bitch, you can still put up with me.

You help me through those times when I needed you most.

You made me realise so many things that I never did. You teach me so much.

You make me feel like I can be whoever I wanna be and not worry about fitting in.

Each of you keep little secrets of my life.

During the times, when I feel like everything is such a down, and I feel like giving up, you make everything better, give me hope and be with me till the very end.

Every line that I've written here, has got something to do with someone. And those few someone-s make up this whole post.

I'm sorry that I can go missing all of a sudden and appear all over again.

Deep down of my heart, I've really gotta say that.. "I love you"

Although I just met some of my friends, I think that there's definitely more to that than just this

=) you know who you are =)

Thanks for making me feel so special on my birthday =)

Thanks for the greetings, gifts, calls and surprise =)

I love you =)

Monthly Celebration of Love =)

; by the Korean culture =)

January 14 is known as the Diary Day. It’s the day when lovers exchange diaries as a sign of love. It can also be one-way or only one person gives a diary to the person he/she loves. It can also be accompanied with flowers.

February 14, of course everyone knows it as Valentine’s Day. But unlike other traditions, on this day, the girls are the ones who give chocolates to the person she likes or loves. It can sometimes be a sign of confession.

March 14 is the White Day. This is payback day for the girls. On this day, the boys are the ones who give candies to the girl he likes or loves. It is also a way to confess their love.

April 14 is what they call Black Day. On this day, those who are single or not in a relationship meet and eat black noodles together.

May 14 has two celebrations. One is the Rose Day, where lovers exchange roses as a sign of their love. And the other is Yellow Day, where those who weren’t able to eat black noodles the previous month eat yellow curry rice.

June 14 is their Kiss Day. It is when lovers kiss each other to confirm their love.

July 14 is known as the Silver Day. On this day, lovers exchange silver rings as a sign of their love. Together with rings, they make a promise of the future.

August 14 is a Music Day! It is a day to give someone a CD that’s full of love songs.

September 14 is the Photo Day. A day for lovers to take pictures and keep them as a memory of their love. [

October 14 is what they call Wine Day. It is when lovers drink wine together to celebrate their love.

November 14 also has two celebrations. One is the Movie Day. Lovers watch movies together while holding each others hand. Another is the Hug Day, the day to give hugs to your loved ones.

December 14 is also carrying two celebrations. Money Day, where you spend generously for the person you love, and Socks Day, where people give socks in advance for Christmas.

The Very Last

Have you wondered what you're gonna do..

If today was your last day?

If you never get to see that one person you've been wanting to see for so long ever again?

If you realise its too late for tomorrow?

If the last goodbye is the one you're saying to right now on the phone?

If you never got to tell the person you love 'I love you'?

If time runs out and the feelings fade, ties severe, the words you want to say just never comes out till its too late?

London Olympics =)

Honestly, I'm looking forward to London Olympics.

Skip the events first =)

Everyone needs the mascots to hype people up =)

And they are so super cute ! =)

They remind me so much of Monster's Inc =)

As I start to wonder, I have expectations.

But after a while, I ask myself if I'm in any position to expect.

What's the expectation to begin with?

The higher the expectations, usually has a bigger downfall.

I cant help to think about it sometimes.

Just a little wonder in me.

If anyone really remembers me, loves me, or cares about me.

What if what I'm going through, right now is a hoax?

Like once I snap out of this, I'mma lose everything?

There's so many things running through my mind. about this.

Recently, I met someone.

Who reminded me of who I used to be.

The things that I did.

I'm slowly adapting to that old me.

But its still a little difficult.

Sometimes, its also a wonder.

As to how much you can love someone?

I know that the only few people I can genuinely say I love you.

Are my bestfriends.

But I wonder how else can you love someone so unconditionally.

DEAR HANA,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABES.

I love you ! :D

Has it ever occurred to you that beneath all happiness and joy that I surface,

Is a botttomless cup of sorrow?

I just never made it an issue

If there's one thing I'll never understand, its YOU.

Seriously.

I dont know why you lied.

Why you led me on.

Why you kept giving my hopes.

Kept adding. this sort of.. thoughts into my mind.

And somehow you just never ocured to you that i'll find out?

I dont get it.

Okay.

Fine.

I do miss you maybe 2 seconds in a day almost every few days.

THATS it.

BUT I DONT GET WHY YOU DID THIS TO ME.

could you just tell me?

At least. just tell me what was on your mind when you thought about that.

Now I understood why you NEVER took the effort.

MADNESS DRIVES THE TRUTH OUT OF ME.

I say mean things when I'm really mad.

I say things that actually make sense.

Just not in a very nice way.

But how else is there to express my anger?

I speak the truth of what's in my mind.

Really,

STUPID PEOPLE PISSES ME OFF.

But who am I to rate you as stupid or smart?

But its just people who I perceive as stupid.

You may not be stupid in the eyes of many

But people have different points of view.

Status Quo.

I don't know if I'm right or wrong.

But I think I know where this is heading to.

I'm doing what I can so we don't have to fall into a manhole

and then make our way back up again.

I don't wanna lose what I have.

I don't need anything more than I already have.

I wanna maintain the status quo.

Call me stupid for doing what I did but

thats the easiest way for me to handle it.

I guess I'm not feeling very happy now.

Its kinda cause... I cant sleep.

AND I really need this sleep.

Cause I dont wanna stone during lectures tomorrow =/

and Cause I dont wanna have a migraine when I get up.

another thing is. I've got a 4 hour break tomorrow.

FML .

I went hiking today.

GOT LIKE A LOAD OF MOSQUITO BITES

thats like annoying the hell outta me! =/

YEs i'm trying to STOP scratching.

but seriously. its annoying as hell!

THANK YOU.

thank you for all the lies you told.

thank you for all those times you lead me on.

thank you for showing me that nice people can turn out to be ass holes as well.

thank you for actually making me feel like i am special.

you know what?

there's so many things i want to thank you for.

that i dont remember.

i knew the signs were coming.

i saw them.

i ignored them.

but still.

good luck with your next meeting with karma.

it'll fuck you in the butt till you get haemorrhoids.

i couldnt thank you more.

but i just be thankful

that nothing went far enough.

it was just all in my head.

thank you.

for not penetrating those walls.

i've built.

now.

its just gonna get thicker.

and the next person who plans no knock it down,

will have to do much more than just THAT !

so thank you.

Parking Systems?!

Okayy. PARKING TICKETS!

In KL, we have,

1. Car park ticket machine. - where we pay the ticket at the autopay machine.

2. Meter - where we put coins in.

3. Another car park ticket - where we put in coins, press the car number plate, and put the ticket on the dashboard.

I think thats about it.

In Melaka and Ipoh they have. A coupon. Where the very trustworthy citizens are entrusted to sincerely mark the time, day and date. (i think certain places uses the meter thingy)

BUT ! IN SEREMBAN!

HOMG !

I parked my car.

I saw this man coming and writing something on a piece of paper.

I rushed to the car to get my car out in hope that I could jump the summon.

THEN!

my dad asked me to go pay.

PAY WHAT?!

the parking fee.

I NEVER KNEW THIS WAS A LEGAL COLLECTION!

I thought it was like those.. people who wants to collect money for NOTHING.

was about to drive off then my daddy asked me to stop and pat.

OKAYYYYYY. how's the lady gonna know how much I needed to pay?

err. then my daddy honked me. scrolled down the window. and told me there's a paper on the windscreen.

OHHHHHHHHH!! SO THATS the 'summon'

=.="""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

you're bad at acting. so Quit it, please.

Being Nice has a limit.

I guess you've reach mine.

Its not that I'm faking all the nice ness.

But being nice to you is so torturing.

I feel so suffocated by compromising with others.

You, specifically.

I dont mind accommodating to whatever you want or need.

But cant you be a little bit more considerate?

You have no fucking sense of timing and planning.

I REALLY dont mind sending you anywhere and everywhere at any given time.

But seriously, If you have NOTHING on your fucking agenda,

cant you plan things so that I dont have to get suck in a fucking jam

for NOTHING?!

fucking hell,

If you think, just because you're the bride to be and everyone should be nice to you,

I can do the total opposite.

That is if you get on my nerves.

And YES.

I drive fast when you're in the car just to let you know how fucking pissed i am.

Oblivious.

Ignorant.

Senseless.

Bitch.

Senseless, yes.

I showed you how pissed I am

and you just turn and ask me about how you look in evening gowns for your fucking wedding.

And you compare the moving traffic to the still traffic in Arizona.

Please. You're not making things any better.

This is Malaysia, its where you are RIGHT NOW.

No comparisons,

just use your brains a lil.

You're fucking 30+,

and if you dont know how to CARE for others,

then I'll just do the same on you.

You think you're being refined?

by the way you talk to your fiancee,

its like you're a frigging baby.

or just another little girl.

trying to act cute.

you can do that, but please. in front of me,

I just think its disgusting.

You try to speak in the most poised and graceful ways,

but no make up or mask will ever cover your true nature.

its so obvious,

when you speak in chinese towards the people at home.

even your own parents,

so what if you've been abroad?

Just dont forget who made the effort and shared the burden to get you where you are now.

your parents may not be the best pair around,

but they're still your parents.

at least,

let them feel like they belong in your life.

its your fucking wedding.

but whatever it is,

just please try not to be rude to those who care for you.

I just need that inspiration.

Blind Bats. and Shallow Minds.

I have to say.

That I'm just fucking pissed.

Cause some people just have a bad sense of timing.

Fucking hell.

The world isnt yours, you know.

And you're not the one who's driving.

That doesnt mean you can ignore the feelings of the person who's sacrificing time and making the fucking effort to make things work.

I HATE TRAFFIC JAMS!

You should've known the first time you sat in my car

That I plan all my outings so that I can miss the fucking jam.

Thanks for being oblivious and fucking blunt.

MLTR.

I'm 18.

Yes. I Do wanna go for MLTR.

What's wrong with that?!

:(

no, I dont chase them. Knowing their names, when they cut their hair. who had a car crash. who they married, what dog they have or the names of their dog.

But their songs are like.. classics!

I wonder. Am I the only 18 year old who is pretty much into their songs? =/

Fantasies that keeps me going.

I wonder why,

I feel like going up to you.

For the greatest hug in the world.

I wanna hold onto you.

And feel you around me.

I wanna dance.

Under the rain.

In the ball room.

And anywhere possible.

And end it all with a good night's kiss.

Sometimes,

That makes me wanna go the extra mile.

To make things happen.

To make sure it goes on well.

Then again.

Its just a fantasy.

I think,

I should lay off chick flicks for a day or two =P

RAWR.

Not a want

But a need.

To have you here.

To keep me company.

To talk to me.

To keep me fascinated as you always do.

To have a sensible yet mindless conversation.

To give me a taste of what the world is like.

Of what you are like.

Cause I dont wanna forget how you look like.

Or forget how your voice sounds like.

Or even forget you name.

Some Stuff Off Dan's Tumblr. But Its True.

Leave the past where it belongs.

You come and go like the wind.

Leaving no marks, prints or even a stain.

I wish I could turn back time to day days,

When I could've called you mine.

We never even had a first kiss.

What more a last.

Its like .

I know that you're lying.

But you're not suppose to know that I know.

And.

It just makes me wanna cry.

Fuck off.

Please.

That's all I'm asking for.

the smallest things in life.

sometimes, the things that seems small to you might actually have an amount of significance to someone. I never really realised it but today my maid came knocking on my door asking me to get the gardener's pay cause he's coming tomorrow. I went in and got it from my dad. I never realised this. but I came into my room and literally threw the money onto my table. I mean. Maybe its nothing big. I mean that amount of money to me was something I was so used to holding, and seeing, and SPENDING that I forgot the actual value of it. For me to throw that kind of money at this age, I think I'm really spoilt. I never knew that I was actually throwing money that someone would treasure, and actually put it to more use than I did/do. He practically slaved himself for 12 hours in the hot sun for that amount of money. That I would have basically used up in a few days. I know what I'm saying. I dont understand why this epiphany. but I think I've been so self absorbed, so much in my own world. only caring how I feel like and stuffs..errr. yeahh. stuffs. that I kinda ignored reality. Ugh. I'm starting to hate myself for that.

randomness

Enthusiastic . Hopeful. Innocence. Adorable.

This goes out someone who liked me for sometime.

I'm glad you found someone who truly loves and appreciates you for the way you are. I know you've actually tried many ways to please me but I guess there's a limit. I'm happy that you didn't have to change yourself for someone to love you. Sorreyh if I unintentionally led you on. I never meant to. But now, I guess we can be friends :) haha.

Back to reality. MY DAUGHTER is so adorable.

She's checking out guys on Omegle. HARHAR.

she says. 'the wind is so windy' =o omg. little girls are soooo cute.

I just finished another lil bottle of Vitagen. WAI the hells are they so addictive? =/

okays. I gotta go blog some other time. neighbour just called for some help =/

WAOSERS. I'm sho tired as it is. hmms. nvm. kaybai.

If I Told you I AM happy.

White Rose: representation of unity, virtue, and the pureness of a new bond of love.

RAGE!

Fucking fucktard just makes me wanna throw this onto someone's face.

The Last Letter.

I'm sorry, I didn't have the guts to go up to you. To thank you in a proper manner for everything you've done.

I just didn't know what to say while being in front of you.

But now I just want thank you for everything.

For the memories. The special moments. The feeling of being love and to love someone in the same way. You've thought me things that many wont be able to. I'm glad to have had you in my life at the most crucial moments of my youth. You put up with so much. My flaws. And the whole unexpected package of mental bombardment. And accepted me for my flaws as I have accepted you to be the person you are and not put a label. It was easy, as I loved you. You've showed me all the many sides of you and I'll never forget them. I was happy that you tired to put a smile on my face all the time. I remember the times where I would call you for absolutely no reason. And I'm glad we had those little conversations. You were definitely my pillar of strength and the source of unfaltering encouragement. One thing I'm really amazed about you is your sense of timing. I guess, everything happened at the right time. Lastly, I thank you for your truthfulness, honesty and loyalty. I almost never had a doubt.

Memories like this will be kept in the shadows of my mind, only taken out when alone to be smiled at and appreciated. I'm sorry people never see you for the great person you are but have a stigma in their minds about you. I loved all the excitement and trill of being that someone you cared for. I've moved on and used past tense whenever the story is repeated but I will not forget these little presents you left me with.

Call me a coward for not being able to tell this to you personally. But somehow I feel this is the best way to express myself to you and the world.

I think i miss someone really badly right now.

I know you're not really gonna read this.

So I'mma say it out loud.

I really miss you.

but no I'm definitely not gonna be the one to say ''Hi"

There's just so many things on my mind.

Results will be out on Wednesday.

and by Monday, I'll be going to college. OH WOW!

OH. anyways. I'm glad tomorrow is finally arriving.

Cause my maid is gonna be coming back (Y)

Living without her was hell. but I survived.

I wanna go surprise her by picking her up !

Just like how she surprises me by making the most awesomest food in the world sometimes.

And yes, I'm just gonna leave my room in a mess.

Cause she's gonna be cleaning ittt (Y)

Anyways. I had a great day with the bestf today. I'm glad we hang out more often nowadays.

cause it just reminded me of how much I miss her.

I miss my other bestfriend too but i think i did stuffs to indirectly.. widen the gap?

its my fault really. but sometimes. its like i cant voice out my own opinion based on what's been REALLY told. and stuffs. I just dont know how to go about it. I'm not saying i wanna avoid her. but i just wanna stay away before i cause anymore gaps. i hope she reads this tho. cause i do miss her. loads. and my other bestf too. why cant things just be normal? i really didnt wish we splitted up like this.

Anyways. I think i miss someone really badly right now

I sometimes wonder do you miss me?

if so, How?

cause waiting for you is like waiting for a lifetime to be over.

3rd and 4th day without a Kakak, =/

WEELLL to begin with. IT AINT THAT BAD!

so from the pictures, i'm guessing you've guessed what's going on.

today i spent 11 hours, getting my P. omfg. its a long wait. but i got it ;)

but now i guess my new focus is on Japan since the concern is now on all the natural disasters going on =/

3rd and 4th day without a maid.. is.. okay. i didnt do much, really. so yeahhh. had time :) nothing much to blog about these 2 days.

except that i got my P :)

promise not to drive after drinking ;)

and now, I'm REALLY sleepy =.=